Yep, it's normal to have a hard time reaching out.
One of the main reasons we created The Pacific Heritage Company was to create space for folks to share, honestly and openly, as much or as little as they wanted, with another human being. But, why us? Why not just call a friend or loved one? We encourage you to do that too. But what recognized was sometimes there was a barrier to the people you want to reach out to— for a variety of reasons.
That's normal! Because life is messy and it will always be messy. Here at The Pacific Heritage Company, we can't change that, but what we can do, is create space for what you need right now.
Here are eight reasons we often hear it’s hard to reach out to another person.
Feeling Like It's a Burden
One common reason we hesitate to reach out is the belief that our problems will burden others. We might worry that sharing our struggles will be seen as a heavy load for our loved ones to bear. However, it is essential to remember that true connections are built on mutual support and empathy. Those who care for us will be willing to share the weight of our burdens and offer comfort in times of need.
Overwhelmed by Emotions or Depth
Sometimes, the intensity of our emotions or the depth of our struggles can be overwhelming. We may fear that discussing these matters will be too much for others to handle or comprehend. However, it is crucial to understand that expressing our emotions can be cathartic and foster deeper connections. Another possibility is that by not talking, the problem begins to feel overwhelming to us, even though talking can make the problem seem simple. Talk to someone first— if you’re concerned, ask for feedback, do you think this problem is too big for just me?
Fear of Judgement or Shame
The fear of being judged or shamed for our thoughts and emotions can be a significant barrier to seeking support. We may worry that opening up will lead to criticism or that our vulnerabilities will be used against us. However, it is vital to surround ourselves with individuals who provide a non-judgmental and compassionate environment, where we can freely share without fear of condemnation. Trust yourself first,”I feel…” Because feelings tell us our emotional responses, they do not dictate our actions, we can feel a certain way, but make the best decisions.
Feeling Unheard and Corrected
When we reach out to others, we often seek understanding and empathy. However, if we encounter individuals who dismiss our feelings or offer unsolicited advice, it can discourage further sharing. Learning to actively listen and validate one another's emotions is vital in establishing a supportive and nurturing environment.
Life Changes
Life is a journey of continuous change, which can affect our relationships. Moving to new places, forming new relationships, or starting new jobs can make us feel isolated and disconnected. During these transitions, it is crucial to be patient with ourselves and allow time for new connections to grow.
Reconnecting After a Long Time
Time can create distance in relationships, and after a prolonged absence, reconnecting may feel daunting. The fear of rejection or uncertainty about how to approach someone after a hiatus can be overwhelming. However, taking small steps and showing genuine interest in the other person's life can help rebuild connections.
The goal of this post is to reassure you that sometimes the apprehension you have about reaching out is valid and normal. But it doesn’t mean you don’t have options or give up. You can ask people for what you need slowly, by saying something like” Hey, I just need you to listen.” You can use our service. You can listen to people first, often times we forget that others are going though their own journey. Each step is a step into the space we all need.